My journal entry for the year

No, I haven't had a baby yet. I'm still fully pregnant and on my way to getting the closest to my due date that I ever have! Cameron was 10 days early and Isaac was 11... as you can see on my countdown, I'm almost down to day 9. I really can't complain- I'm not at all uncomfortable which I couldn't say at this point with my last two. I was miserable. It's more the mental part that sucks, knowing she could come any day, and waking up every morning realizing I'm still large and in charge. Oh well. Like I said, I'm really grateful to feel great and not have any back pain or anything. So, we'll see when this little one decides to emerge- I just hope I don't go way overdue like some of my friends have. I do have something to say today that doesn't have anything to do with showing pictures of my kids... so here it goes...

I grew up with parents who always taught the importance of following the Spirit. No matter what! It doesn't matter if you're mocked for it (getting married at 19), given loads of crap for it (having our first baby 11 months after we got married), or it doesn't make logical sense (having not just one baby during graduate school, but two, and only 21 months apart). Well, I've learned that in my life, usually the logical, easy way out, is not what I'm supposed to do. It's usually the things that make no sense, that aren't logical, that are ridiculous to even consider, that I feel like we're supposed to do. (I'm speaking for Tyler too since we are married and make our decisions together). And let me make a side note that my parents not only taught us to do what was right, but to seek for what was the best decision in every situation. So therefore, Tyler and I try to do just that in our lives. Anyway, this brings me to my story... 

I was not at all ready for another baby when I had the very strong impression that it was time for another one to come to our family. I was hesitant and very scared, but knew, without a doubt, that it was the best time. It made NO SENSE! Boy have I been tested this pregnancy. I was sick at the beginning, and right about the same time that I got pregnant, both the boys started waking up between 5 and 6 AM. That's right! Cameron also stopped sleeping through the night. He was up multiple times- usually three. I was going crazy (oh wait, I still am because Cameron still gets up in the night and is awake super early). Luckily, Isaac's 5 AM waking only lasted 2-3 months, but Cameron's on the other hand is still going on. On good days, he makes it until 6, but we still have some days where he's up as early as 4:30. Now, do all the judging you want... I should lock him in his room, sedate him, blah, blah, blah. Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, I've struggled a lot the past 9 months. I've been pretty miserable and worn out. But the blessings have started to show themselves... at least in one huge way. 

We knew we had to buy another car when this baby came. We also signed Cameron up for pre-school... basically, we have a ton more expenses that are accumulating and we had no idea how we were going to pay for school for Cameron (pre-school is way more expensive down here than it is in Utah or Idaho- like double or more), another car, another child, etc. But we felt really good about all of these decisions and were very prayerful in all of the matters. We felt like we would be taken care of and it would all work out. So we went ahead with faith. Well, our first major blessing happened the other day... Tyler was awarded a $1500.00 scholarship. In the grand scheme of things (our huge student loan debt), it's chump change. But, we are SO grateful because this will help us to afford our extra expenses that we had no clue how we were going to do it (and still don't). I am so grateful for parents who taught me to choose the best and not just the good. Regardless of what other people think, say, or do. Regardless of what makes sense, is logical, or the easiest option. So, congratulations to my husband who has done the work to get the scholarship and our biggest heartfelt thanks is of course to Heavenly Father for this huge blessing. There's my story- if you made it all the way through. Just felt inspired to put this on my blog... I'll let you know when Macey/Reese graces us with her presence.